going.

I'll be back home tonight! I'm superbly excited! muahaha!!! Crazily excited!!!!

Works during cny this year :

1)Spanish dance song for mid term! C'mon!!!!!! *God, how I hate practical*

2At least 10 pages of report for Prof. Tan.

3)read up TITAS for mid term!

4)practice new song for contemp. class and upcoming performance. *sighhhhh*

5)Bring grandma to wet market every morning. *this thingy practically is a reponsibility ever since i got my license. *but me likey to go*

I can't wait to get home and show mummy my new clothes I bought here! LOL... mua first time not spending more than one thousand on CNY clothes!!! muahaha... Daddy's so proud of me!!! I tell you guys, the clothes here seriously nice and cheap weyh!!! *in condition where you shop* I used to get MNG ROXY MCKY ESPRIT and so on so forth. But this time right, I tak beli!! Muahaha!!! Believe me!!!

wait... I got one mini from Esprit la. I tak tahan mah. But, just ONE!! :)

When I'm back from cny. I've to stop buying clothes. omgness... seriously I have to stop!!! Influenced by my coursemates!! ewwww..... My coursemates memang pandai buy and eat ho liao wan. omgness!!! XD

"went to visit my sister. I remembered my dad told me i did a good job taking care of her and sent her to the hospital. But...good it seems, is not enough."

Status written by teen hau. My foster brother who study in Kampar. The one that lost his sister just months ago. If you're reading this. Please stay strong and live life for her!! 加油！ ILY!!!

ps : I can't wait to get home and smell the aroma of my ROOM! Grrrr >

I'm going home.

Yeap. The title says it all. I'm going home after one month of suffering here. Today is a really crucial day. I received the ultimate mid term exam score. Sighhh.... Always received it with my face turning from smiley to worry. ewww..... tak suka! Spanish Dance, that's the title for this mid term. I've gotto conquer it within 2 weeks?? Damn.... 4 pages. It's short, but its difficult. :(

ahhh.... How I miss home. Looking back at the photos me, daddy and mummy took during our Trip last month. ewww... How I miss japan too!!! :'(! The foods!! The people there! arhhh.... This is just too crazy!! This August! Mua wanna go again!!! C'mon!!

How sad it is to be so far away from your family, huh?? Me start to miss home already!! ahhhh... Tolong!!! Me miss home after watching some chinese new year videos posted online there on facebook. Tuuu la!!! Siape suruh mu bukak?!

Me browse through some photos me and my family took last month. ewww.... I wish to turn back time. :). My sister seriously had grown alot after joining her AFS student exchange programme.

From a shy girl, he became a girl who's actively involved in her social network now. I believe she has more international friends than me now!! ahhh... *jealous*

From an unknown girl who grows up from a small town, she's known all over already. She even have friends all the way from Aussie! And she's only 16!

From one anti facebook girl, to a superbly active girl in Facebook! Imagine she talks about how fun is facebook with those NOTIFICATION thingy going around. *slaps*. She memang use to anti facebook before she actually owns an account!! She asked me open one account for her right after she's back from Japan. apala....

From a quiet girl, to a TALKATIVE girl!! ewww.. I still like her quietness! Cuz I can bully her ma! :P... Now she's the one who talks at home, not me anymore. ewwww....

Pictures! :)

Ignore my sleepy eyes. It was 12am at KLIA that day

The crystle before leaving for Japan.

ps : I don't think she had unpack her stuff from Japan. We'll see when I'm back home this sat.

Tuesday.

This is the only Tuesday I love in 2011! Omgness! You know why? Cuz there's like no scariness in Ms Lena's class today. haha... Maybe cuz she's in cny mood too?

Me had a fruitful day today. Had less than 7 hours sleep last night cuz of rhythmic dictation homework la. Result of a last minute work! haha... Dragged my ass up at 7am this morning for 8am class. TITAS! apala.... go there to be tortured with the coldness of the lecture hall. Right after TITAS is Ms lena's. ewww.. Then lunch, Then Theory class.

Pastu mua go get the cello strings and straight went for piano class. Then repair cello's C string at Miss Ong's place. haha....

ehh... Show you guys something that I got from Mr Raymond's niece. Gosh... She's the cutest thing i've ever met! She's Ashley and her baby sister is Zoe. haha....

She draw this while I was waiting time to leave for Miss Ong's house. Its written, "DONE BY ASHLEY, COCONUT TREE".

A friend of mine approach me and my friends asking what is the best present to give for his girl for valentine's. Awwww.... Why la this thing never happens to me wan? *slaps* Yea la... aku tgh jeles nih!! Shhh!!! I nak flower jugakk!!! I nak plush toys jugakk!!! I nak I nak I nak la!!! :P

I'm loving my new headset wey!!!! I can sing as loud as i can!! cuz I can't hear me myself is out of pitch or not! Weeee!!!! but in a condition where my roomate is not in la! haha....

Till then peoplessss!!!

Budak swimming club tuuu!! arhhhh..... The smile that could melt my heart again and again. omgness!!!

i'm going home! Weee!!

Home

Home. There's the place where I will be for the next few days. Omgness!!!

Mood : LOVE STORY!!!

my GETHA!! How I miss you!!! arhhhhh!!!

My sony!!! How i miss pressing you for channelsss!!!!! arhhhh.....

My apple!! How I miss playing you!!!

And most of all!! My fridge!! How i miss opening you for fun just to stare at the foods grandma arranged!!!

wait wait.. my AIR-COND!!! How can live without you!

Weeee!!!!!finally! I'm gonna celebrate cny at HOME!!! arhhhh..... This time, with family and friends. Not with relatives. ahhh.... after so many years! :)

We might get our mid term piece before cny. sighhh... I'm gonna stick with piano for the whole cny again! ahhhh....

takper.... aku nok balik rumoh dohh!!! ahhhhh..... u guys there! Feel free to come my house yea! :). I'm in superb good mood now after having coffee!! haha.... no mood for aural tmrw!! Wee wee wang!!!! :P:P

*shake shake shake*

Teng, U better come back kemaman when u see this post! I miss you like HELL!!!!

Yu, U better stay at kuantan until the day i go n find u!!! ahhhhh!!!!

Harmin, U biatch! U stay where u r until i go grab ur boobs!!!

everyone! Can't wait to be home. that's for sure!

okay, I miss home now. I miss teasing mummy! haha... She's always the one whom I teased till she stop talking! haha... how bad am I as a daughter? wait... in a good way, ok?? haha.... The ultimate daddy who loves her alot, lets me buy new clothes without complaining me spending so much. Love him till MAX!!! Muacks!!!

ahhh... its 1am now. I'm still hype. goshh... I'm having morning class at 8am tmrw! I'm soooo becoming a ZOMBIE like again? takper... for the sake of home, I'd wake up early!!!

Till then, peeps! xoxo!!

what's that?

garhhhh..... the news I received this afternoon spoiled my day today. sighh....

Raymond's piece, i'm gonna conquer it before tuesday!! arhhhh!!!! two of them!!! Nocturne and rondo!!!! C'mon!!!!

my beloved cello, please let me tune u into pitch, alright? Be good. You know how much I love you!!

My beloved car, please be patient until the day I actually free to bring you for a car wash.

mix feelings, i had. I miss home. This is the first time in this sem i'm saying this. I miss home cooked foods. I miss grandma. I miss everyone.....

till then.

ps : break is just next week. caniseeyoubeforeuleaveforIndia?

Be strong, mate.

Mood : Speechless by lady gaga.

Some things just happened without any notice.

He lost his mum just this morning. sighh.... Too sad to hear that. All I can do is pray for him. May god bless him in the future.

Appreciate each and everyone around you. Never do things that you will regret. Live life to the fullest!! Every second, every minute counts. Never waste any of them.

Forgive and forget.

You over there, do stay strong. Everyone is here for you.

Till then.

PS : itsasadthingtohearsomeonelosttheirloveones. :'(

Pictures. :)

Mua can feel the tiredness of having only 3 hours sleep after one day. goshh... I was like zombying thru arts school today. Mua woke up early to do laundry and straight I dragged myself up to practice room!! Grrrr><.. Meeting was at 1pm, san promised me to get me lunch, but she was late, so ended up to have lunch after the meeting. Thanks for buying me lunch, san!! Muacks!!

Mua promised u guys with pictures kan? Nahhh......

The ultimate second baby! Love love love it till max!!!

_____________________________________________________________________

Dato' Johari salleh with azmeer! :)

Dato Johari and mua la!

______________________________________________________________________

I still love my myvi!!

Till then, peeps!

Ps : itsbeenamonthssinceilastsatdownwithyouforaproperdinner. when?

Fruitful day.

Less than 3 hours sleep and less than 2 hours plan.

Omgness. I can't believe that me and my coursemate actually planned to go kl in only less than 2hours!! Thought it was a tiring yet expensive trip, but everything's worth the price! Thank God that I've made a correct decision that does not make me regret! Hallelujah!!!

Supposedly the plan was about two weeks ago. all of us planned to make a trip down to KL for assignment. Our assignment is to interview some kinda artist. But plan was canceled due to some reasons. But another coursemate of I called me up to resume the plan that we planned earlier. So, it was a seriously spontaneous trip!!! Omgness! I still can't believe wey!!

I hopped into the bus at 7.30pm yesterday and I got into the bus on 3.30pm this afternoon. And voila!! I'm back in the island again!! Goshhh....

To conclude the interview that Idid, AWESOME!! Dato' Dr Johari Salleh is the king of music arranger!! Omgness!! I really salute him weyhh!!! His works were just simply amazing!!! He's a really friendly guy who smiles alot and the way he described his past, I just love it! :)

I'm so relieved that i've done the interview. Now, comes the difficult part la!! I'm gonna finish up the 20 pages of report about this interview!!! *cross your fingers*! :)

Ouh yea!! I forgot to tell you guys!! I've finally got my very own cello. The best sound i've heard so far!! :). That thing cost daddy 1.5k. *I promise you that i'll learn well*!!

play for one more week and i'm gonna start studying edi! :)

till then. :)

ps : picturesofmuaandjoharisallehwillbeupnextpost! :)

Weeeee~~~

Grrrr!!!! My mood superbly happy till now! Omgness!!!! Haha.....

reason #1 : I've finally got a good cello teacher!! Omg!!

reason #2 : I've finally got my very own CELLO!! U heard me!!! My very own CELLO!!!!!! XD

reason #3 : I've finally found the headphone bro bought from Japan!! Weee~~ (the one he bought rosak few years ago)!

reason #4 : I've run 5 rounds non-stop!! woots!! Come break my record!! :)

reason #5 : Aku dapat discount daripada saman! From rm50 to rm20! *I should be happy for this reason, right?

reason #6 : Am finally gonna meet daddy, mummy, sis and grandma next 2 weeks! I miss them, and that's like, VERY MUCH!! :)

reason #7 : Tomorrow's my very first CELLO lesson at 2.30pm! *shake shake shake*

Hmm... Me actually found miss ong(cello teacher)'s house by myself! haha.... so happy weyh!!! Cuz I cari by my own ma! haha.... crazily happy today! IDK WHY!!! Omgness!!!! me called daddy about the cello just now. He said, where r u going to put ur cello? Then I was like.... errrr.... idk!!! haha....

weeee~~~~ Till then. :)

sometimes

mood : The climb, by miley cyrus.

Sometimes, I just felt so helpless when I see close friends around me fall sick. I just can't do anything about it. sighh.... mua felt so helpless. sigh... All I can do is pray. pray for their recovery. Helpless, this is one of the word that motivates me to study medicine last time. I'd always want to find solution for something. But now, it seems like I can't do anything more.

Stay strong. *jia you*

till then. :(

16-01-11

Omgness!! We meet him like in person again!!! He walked passed by J&co. while me and kah hui were having ice cream yogurt! omgness!!! me actually followed him until outside weyh.... So regret didn't call him for the first time. But who knows that he walked back to the restaurant again!!! This time I dah pandai!! I panggil Bobby twice then he turn back!! Omgness!!!! He actually turn his head back and look for us!! haha...

He asked for our names again!! Omgness!! Again!!! He ASKED FOR OUR NAME!!! And the best part is, He sat down and had a quick chat with us!!! Omgness!!! Extreme happiness!!! Haha... crazy right?? He's like an international pianist! I memang salute him! :)

Ouh yea, Did I meantion that he reached out his hand and shake our hands? haha.... He said he'll come back and perform again! Weee~~~

_______________________________________________________________________

Done with the extreme happy part, now with the sad part pulak. ishhh...

someone over there lost something that I bought. If you remember what I said to you earlier, you should have taken good care of it. I've once told you that whatever things that I buy, It means something to me. To someone there, Remember the perfume story that I told you the other day?? sighh~

To someone, I'm extremely sad weyh. I've never get the chance to wear it. Now, U've lost it. sighh... its not the matter of money, its the matter of the "meaning" of getting it. sighh...

Btw, The person that we met was BOBBY CHEN!!!! weee~~~

till then.

The thing

That thing actually bothered me for a year?? I told myself to let down, but I can't for the past couple of months. Until I know that person wasn't mine anymore, I realise that things had changed. yeap, I am no longer his girl and he's no longer mine.

Half a year since I last contacted him and ask for forgiveness. He accepted the apology and we started talking to each other ever since. But both of us realize that, things weren't the same anymore. Friends, that's the best we can be. Both of us can't seem to forget what we've done.

I am certainly happy that things have settled now. Extremely happy larh weyh!!! *shake shake shake*

ps : practice practice practice! Omgness!

Bobby C's recital @ penang.

Superbly nice piano recital done by Bobby like, again? omgess!! He's just the best. He's soooo polite! omgness!! We went to get his signature and he asked for my name!! omg omg!! He wrote,

Dear Catherine, Good for you to come, bobby.

He should have written "LOVE BOBBY"!!

Memang aku faint selalu when he asked for my name! haha.... *crazy*. Well, He's just too good for me to describe here. I love his Lizst's piece soo much! Tho Hayden's piece was a little bit boring. But, His Schubert and Lizst were tooooo goood!!! weee~~ 50 bucks memang worth it man!!!!

Grrrr.... too bad, I can't really get more pictures. sighh... maklumlah... camera cacat aku. ishhh.... *slap*

Till then. Me gotto practice piano edi.

:(

Can't you guys just say : oh my god! That's a really awesome course!!

GRrrrrrr..... Am superbly down and sad whenever people change their reaction after asking me what course I take.

At least make up my day by saying, That's AWESOME!!!!

emphasize lastly!!! There's a course called music course in USM!!!!!! Grrrrrr......

till then!!!!!!!!!

Life

Mua had quite a long conversation with lecturer today during keyboard class. Lecturer said she didn't sleep well because she's been thinking of some things that bothered her. So mua asked her what is that thingy. She said is life. yup, Life.

Life is short, appreciate it.

me felt kinda insulted when people all around usm looked down towards music students. sighh... Sad sial. Whenever I say I'm doing music course, their facial expression would change. seriously, CHANGE! sighh... sad, right??

13th of january, the first day of 2011, We meet up again. Well, its a total different feeling after not seeing you for 2 weeks. Felt awkward , right? Hmm.... its definitely a nice chat with you after so long. :)

This is Hiroshima. :). The place kena bombed during Ww2. *practically got it from sis' camera cuz she went there*

I guess I have to start studying already. I've got quite a number of things to cover. Its gonna be the fourth week soon! Omgness! Time flies.....

Till then.

Decision made. :)

I'll be having 4 months break starting from May 2011 onwards. Decision made by myself after so many days of thinking what should I do during that 4 months.

Mua will be staying in Penang due to some reasons.

Reason #1 : I wanna spend time with grandaunt here.

Reason #2 : Piano lesson! I cannot afford to miss 4 months' lesson! kan?

Reason #3 : Theory class! Grrrr... ><'

Reason #4 : Explore Penang?? idk yet!! :)

The main reason I stay in Penang is my grandaunt. It's been years since I last saw her. I was shocked to see her lose so much weight after battling with her sickness. My heart ached whenever I see her. She can't sleep well, she can't eat well and she can't really remember everyone. hmmm..... That's the main reason I wanna stay in penang. cannot afford to lose anyone kut? hmmmm....

I appreciate each and everyone around me these days. Mua don't wanna do stuffs that I'll regret. so, forgive and forget. :)

ouh yea, me just done writing love story's chorus part. That thing actually took me an hour to finish!! omgness!! and that's only 8 bars?? ehhh... with perfection, ok? I write and draw with ruler! Muahaha..... I like things to be neat. :)

till then. :)

Read Read Read!!!!

I've been working my ass off for sight reading, but still, no changes. I wanna give up, but I can't. I've been trying so hard to let myself improve, but still, I couldn't see any improvements. sighh...

Mua went for piano class and I just felt so useless playing Nocturne. :(. Mua felt shoooo sad cuz I felt like Mr. __ don't really like me as his student.

Dear Lord, please guide me. Please help me. :'(

10.01.11

我今天想卸下面具

承认自己有多脆弱

我欺骗了自己 也欺骗了身边的人

说穿了 我只是害怕面对

我接受不了所有的现实

逞强太久了

真的很累

发现自己已经一段时间没有哭了

忘记怎么哭的时候

才发现眼泪有多珍贵

今天倒数前的几个小时 我颤抖了好久

我害怕听见欢呼声 我害怕看见烟火

曾经在我以为最美丽的日子里 我倒数寂寞

我一直告诉自己说 这一天 我要冷静地度过

心跳的频率撒不了谎 我才坦然接受 我其实并不平安

回顾这一年 只能以忐忑来形容

因为在我决定向前走的同时 我还一直回首从前

我怀念的东西 其实容不下我

而我却一直留恋在记忆里

框住了自己

我以为 自我催眠能够帮助一些什么

催眠自己要坚强 要一直微笑 要很阳光

太强烈了 反而弄巧反拙

情绪 好像干枯了

伤害是痛的 所以我一直都不想伤害别人

或许很多时候我错过了对我不错的人

渐渐少联络的 或是已经找到女朋友的

我都真心的感谢

只是 感觉不在 我给不了什么

我不能自私的把另一个人想象成他

也不能背叛自己的心

利用另一个人来忘记他

因为到最后 故事里可能会出现另一个我

在我真正忘记他之前

我想还我自己自由

三年期限 不和人类谈恋爱

疗伤 最多就只能三年

我有太多还没有实现的梦想

就利用这三年 我想自己一个人一一把它们完成.

hmm... Me saw this post from a friend of mine. Touching yet nice, right? Tho It took me quite some time to figure out what does it mean. hmmm.... She's a strong yet independent girl, I seriously respect her! :)

Tuesday, tomorrow!! Omgness! Takut sial. tomorrow's the day AGAIN.... Aural again!! Grrrr ><. May God bless me!

{onethingthatIgottoknowis,practicedoesn'tmakeperfectresult.}

.........

It took me half an hour to think of the title. In the end, I couldn't think of one. ><'. Me just got back from the MPO trip with the whole USM music department's students. Indeed, It was a nice one! Mua had lotsa fun with coursemates! :)

Me had a little breakdown in the bus while mua was otw back to Penang. Some stuff just passed by my mind and I just broke down into tears. It wasn't because of personal stuff like relationship anymore.

This matter had been my problem ever since I got into USM. Yeah, I brought this matter along with me. :(. Am not stating what is it here. Its been half a year.

------------------------------------------------------------------

SHE taught me alot before she went away just like that. I didn't know that she was diagnosed with cancer until months before she passed away. She was the one who unites our family together no matter what. She was the one who somehow brought me up.

One phrase that I'd never forget until today. She taught me this phrase when she see me gasping for air when I swim. She says, don't stop halfway and gasp for air, swim till the end when u touched the wall, Don't stop! So, whenever i'm tired and gasping for air, she's the one I thought of. Never will I give up swimming.

I still can remember how she suffered from having cancer. She relied on the machine day and night. She lost her weight and her fierce look day by day. BTW, she was a fierce looking lady at the outside, but she's soft in the inside. Everyday she battled through the pain along with aunts and granduncle.

Her death. I was the first one in the family to know. I was the one who answered the call with sobbing sound on the phone. At that very moment, I blamed Doctor for not treating her well, I blamed Jesus for not granting my prayers. It was sad. So sad, until today I still can feel the lost.

"Stairway To Heaven". This is the song that she asked me to find for her before she was diagnosed with cancer. I couldn't find it until a couple of months after she departs.

Me, really learn a lot from her. sorry for the long windy post here, this is just my mood today. :(

-----------------------------------------------------

I am glad to have a bunch of friends here that I could turn to. I am glad that I've known Elaine. She's good at comforting people. Thanks to her, I felt good after confessing what had been tensing me up lately.

Aural class is the only class where all 12 of us don't wanna face. Seriously, The way Ms Lena looked at us seems like wanna kill us weyh! Anyhow, We still have to go through the pain together. Wanna take music course in the future, THINK TWICE!!

I am done for today.

foryouwhoisreadingthis,ihopetoseeusomedayinthisweek.itsbeenawhile.

The one.

He got me this from Genting. He has one in black colour. I wear this everyday, yea, seriously, everyday. Mua wear this everyday cuz it helps me throughout the day. It makes my day by reading the verse on it.

The verse :

"Our Father in Heaven, Hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in Heaven. Give us to do your aily bread. Forgive our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Lead us not in temptation but deliver us from evil. For the Kingdom, the power and the Glory are yours now and Forever. Amen. Matthew 6:9-16

Lead us not in temptation but deliver us from evil. I personally like this phrase. This phrase makes me think of all the consequences of the things I do.

Thanks for buying me this. I really appreciate this!!

Mua and coursemates, omgness! Non-stop happiness!!! Laughter has always been with us whenever all of us are together. Praise God. Together we face the pressure, together we face the sadness, together we had a great time!!

The trip to KL is tomorrow! Me kinda excited tho!!! Hopefully everything turns out well!!! God bless me!!

ifyou'rereadingthis,remembertowearthenecklaceIgaveyou.

I need exercise!

That's for sure! Burn all the fats off!! Me, officially not driving for classes anymore!!

Reason #1 : Walking is good for health

Reason#2 : Breath in O2 is seriously good for us!!

Reason#3 : Petrol nowadays expensive weyhhh!!!!

Reason #4 : Listen properly here.... I need to shed off the fats in me!!!! Grrr!!!!!!

Omgness!! Can you believe that, some stuff that happened to me last few days actually disturbed my emotion? And that's like for the very first time I couldn't control those kinda feelings. DAMN!!!

Sad factor #1 : those ppl, you just felt like slapping them again and again! You know who i meant, right??

Sad factor #2 : I've gained weight!!

Sad factor #3 : Aural class every Tuesday just makes me felt like suiciding!

Sad factor #4 : I can't eat chocos like, everyday, cuz mua need to be on diet!!

Sad factor #5 : I HATE you!!!!! Omgness!! I tak suka the way YOU treat me!!!! Like I'm a sinner falling in LOVE with YOU!! Yes!! I am saying out loud!! I just don't like it!!!!!! :'(

Sad Factor #6 : I've been FOOLED! :'(

Ifyou'rereadingthis,Ijustwannaaskyoutothinkofwhati'vedoneforyou.plsdon'ttreatmelikethisanymore.

3.1.11

Everything's gonna start tomorrow! Scare sial!!! Omgness! To all who are heading to school tomorrow, lotsa lucks!! Jia you!! C'mon! We can do it! Music students are not to be looked down! We too have our potential!!

Kawai, eh?? Primary school children in Japan! :))

ps : Me don't wanna talk with u edi!

Breath!

Hello Twenty Eleven!! It wasn't a great start for me yesterday. Heard some rumors saying about things that I don't like from a close friend of mine. Sigh...

Can't you just listen and forget what you've heard? Please don't go spread nonsense! I'm kinda tired of you talking about stuff like this. You haven't been changing ever since the day I know you. gosh.. I'm not complaining or what. I just hope that You, can change just a little bit. FML??

Me now, feeling fireworks around my head. So many things going through my mind now.

Me, not in a mood of everything now. I'm feeling sad. Mua wanna SCREAM out loud!! As loud as I can!! But, where?? I wanna cry, cry as much as I can!! But, where's the shoulder I need? Dear Lord, do tell me what to do.

Class is gonna start tomorrow. Time table, lecturers and classes are different. Totally different atmosphere to learn now. I am scare. sigh~

YOU, changed me. Whenever I am scare, YOU asked me to be strong instead of coming to see me and calm me down. When I am down, and come to complaint infront of you, YOU asked me to stay positive.

I can't do things all by myself. I am just a normal girl who needs someone beside me whenever I needed them. I wish I could just turn things back where I don't know who YOU are. Things are so complicated now.

I am TIRED. I just need someone to unburden them.

我真的很累!!:'(