Sunday, January 9, 2011

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It took me half an hour to think of the title. In the end, I couldn't think of one. ><'. Me just got back from the MPO trip with the whole USM music department's students. Indeed, It was a nice one! Mua had lotsa fun with coursemates! :)

Me had a little breakdown in the bus while mua was otw back to Penang. Some stuff just passed by my mind and I just broke down into tears. It wasn't because of personal stuff like relationship anymore.

This matter had been my problem ever since I got into USM. Yeah, I brought this matter along with me. :(. Am not stating what is it here. Its been half a year.
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SHE taught me alot before she went away just like that. I didn't know that she was diagnosed with cancer until months before she passed away. She was the one who unites our family together no matter what. She was the one who somehow brought me up.

One phrase that I'd never forget until today. She taught me this phrase when she see me gasping for air when I swim. She says, don't stop halfway and gasp for air, swim till the end when u touched the wall, Don't stop! So, whenever i'm tired and gasping for air, she's the one I thought of. Never will I give up swimming.

I still can remember how she suffered from having cancer. She relied on the machine day and night. She lost her weight and her fierce look day by day. BTW, she was a fierce looking lady at the outside, but she's soft in the inside. Everyday she battled through the pain along with aunts and granduncle.

Her death. I was the first one in the family to know. I was the one who answered the call with sobbing sound on the phone. At that very moment, I blamed Doctor for not treating her well, I blamed Jesus for not granting my prayers. It was sad. So sad, until today I still can feel the lost.

"Stairway To Heaven". This is the song that she asked me to find for her before she was diagnosed with cancer. I couldn't find it until a couple of months after she departs.

Me, really learn a lot from her. sorry for the long windy post here, this is just my mood today. :(
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I am glad to have a bunch of friends here that I could turn to. I am glad that I've known Elaine. She's good at comforting people. Thanks to her, I felt good after confessing what had been tensing me up lately.

Aural class is the only class where all 12 of us don't wanna face. Seriously, The way Ms Lena looked at us seems like wanna kill us weyh! Anyhow, We still have to go through the pain together. Wanna take music course in the future, THINK TWICE!!

I am done for today.




foryouwhoisreadingthis,ihopetoseeusomedayinthisweek.itsbeenawhile.

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