1st of July

First of July and I decided to write in this blog again. I have had deep thoughts about life and future this couple of weeks. Things and everyday life struck my mind about human relationships and self emotion. Things get more complicated when you get out of the society.

I don't trust in any romance relationships anymore. I am putting myself to be single yet available for as long as I can. I enjoy being like this. Lonely, nope. Cuz I got a bunch of friends out there waiting for me to hang out with. I was cheated again and again with the words of guys. I was fooled by sweet talks guys whom always had.

I am disappointed with relationships. As much as I look fine in the outside, I struggle in the inside. The past relationship I had, had thought me never to trust guys anymore. I am afraid of them now. yes, I am.

Though once in a while we need love and care, we have high expectations for what we want, but still, I don't want those anymore.

YOU. I told myself to not to find you nor talk to you anymore. Cuz this is just what I am after break ups. But still, you come texting me once in a while. Just. leave. me. alone.

Now, I need a shoulder to rest my head on like seriously, cuz I'm tired of thinking relationships now. I am really tired and sick of it.

I wanted to go out of Malaysia to get myself a new me when I got back.

I wanted a new me.

I wanted one.

I admit that I've put the most of myself and committed in the last relationship. I was so disappointed with it. I didn't shed a tear until I finally had a time alone and cried. As much as I wanted to save the relationship, it just dosen't seem to work.

Lord, take away the anger. Take away all the sadness in me. :(